EMDR Therapy
You don't have to stay stuck in what happened.
Sometimes you know logically that something is over, but your brain and body haven't gotten the message. A memory, relationship, loss, frightening experience, or period of your life may be in the past β yet something in the present can suddenly bring back the same anxiety, fear, anger, shame, or physical reaction. EMDR therapy can help your brain process experiences that still feel unresolved. At Connections Counseling & Neurofeedback, we offer EMDR as part of our trauma-informed approach to therapy. Treatment is individualized, paced carefully, and built around helping you feel safe and prepared before deeper processing begins.
What Is EMDR?
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It is a structured psychotherapy approach designed to help people process distressing memories and experiences that continue to affect how they feel, think, respond, or relate to others today.
After overwhelming experiences, memories can sometimes remain connected to the emotions, physical sensations, beliefs, and threat responses that were present when the event occurred.
That can look like:
Knowing you are safe but not feeling safe
Becoming intensely triggered by something that reminds you of the past
Replaying conversations or events repeatedly
Feeling anxiety or panic that seems bigger than the current situation
Avoiding people, places, conversations, or experiences
Carrying beliefs such as βI'm not safe,β βI'm not enough,β βI can't trust anyone,β or βIt was my faultβ
Feeling emotionally or physically activated even when you understand intellectually that the danger has passed
EMDR is designed to help the brain reprocess the experience so that the memory can remain a memory without continuing to produce the same level of emotional and physiological distress.
The goal isn't to erase what happened. The goal is for what happened then to stop controlling what happens now.
What Does EMDR Actually Look Like?
What Does EMDR Actually Look Like?
EMDR is much more than simply moving your eyes back and forth.
Your therapist first spends time understanding your history, identifying treatment goals, developing resources, and making sure you have strategies for managing difficult emotions before beginning trauma processing.
During the processing portion of EMDR, your therapist may ask you to briefly notice aspects of a memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation β rhythmic stimulation that alternates between the left and right sides.
This may involve:
π Eye Movements
Following movement from side to side.
π€² Handheld Tappers
Holding small devices that gently alternate vibration between your left and right hands.
π§ Auditory Stimulation
Alternating sounds presented from one side to the other.
Your therapist remains with you throughout the process, checking your experience and helping you move through the material at an appropriate pace.
What Does EMDR Actually Look Like?
What Does EMDR Actually Look Like?
EMDR is much more than simply moving your eyes back and forth.
Your therapist first spends time understanding your history, identifying treatment goals, developing resources, and making sure you have strategies for managing difficult emotions before beginning trauma processing.
During the processing portion of EMDR, your therapist may ask you to briefly notice aspects of a memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation β rhythmic stimulation that alternates between the left and right sides.
This may involve:
π Eye Movements
Following movement from side to side.
π€² Handheld Tappers
Holding small devices that gently alternate vibration between your left and right hands.
π§ Auditory Stimulation
Alternating sounds presented from one side to the other.
Your therapist remains with you throughout the process, checking your experience and helping you move through the material at an appropriate pace.
EMDR Is Not About Forcing You to Relive Trauma
This is an important distinction.
EMDR does not require you to sit in therapy and tell every painful detail of an experience over and over again.
You remain awake, aware, and in control throughout treatment.
You can pause.
You can tell your therapist when something feels like too much.
And good EMDR treatment includes preparation and stabilization, not simply jumping directly into someone's most painful memories.
The 8 Phases of EMDR
EMDR is a structured treatment with eight phases.
1. History & Treatment Planning
We learn about what brings you to therapy, your history, current symptoms, strengths, triggers, and goals.
2. Preparation
Before processing difficult material, we work on emotional regulation, grounding, coping skills, and resources that can help you remain connected to the present.
3. Assessment
Together, we identify the memory or experience being targeted and the thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and beliefs connected to it.
4. Desensitization
Bilateral stimulation is used while the brain begins processing the targeted material. Your therapist helps you notice what emerges without forcing the process.
5. Installation
As distress decreases, EMDR helps strengthen a healthier or more adaptive belief about yourself.
For example:
βI'm powerless.β β βI have choices now.β
βI'm not safe.β β βI'm safe now.β
βIt was my fault.β β βI did the best I could.β
6. Body Scan
We notice whether your body is still holding tension or activation connected to the experience.
7. Closure
Your therapist helps you return to a regulated state before the session ends.
8. Reevaluation
At the next session, we check what has changed and determine what still needs attention.
What Can EMDR Be Used For?
EMDR is best known for its use in the treatment of trauma and PTSD, but clinicians may incorporate EMDR into treatment for a variety of difficulties when unresolved or distressing experiences are contributing to current symptoms.
Depending upon the individual and clinical appropriateness, EMDR may be considered when working with:
Trauma and PTSD
Childhood trauma
Distressing or painful memories
Anxiety and fear
Panic
Grief and loss
Relationship trauma
Betrayal trauma
Experiences of rejection or abandonment
Shame and negative beliefs about oneself
Certain phobias or fears
Distressing experiences that continue to trigger strong emotional responses
Not every person or every concern requires EMDR. Your therapist will help determine whether it makes sense as part of your treatment.
EMDR & Betrayal Trauma
Discovering infidelity, ongoing deception, secret sexual behavior, or another significant relationship betrayal can create an intense threat response.
Even after the truth has been discovered, seemingly small experiences β a phone notification, unexplained absence, location, date, song, sexual experience, or change in someone's behavior β may suddenly activate the original fear.
EMDR may be incorporated into betrayal-trauma treatment to help process particularly distressing memories and triggers while the larger therapeutic work addresses safety, boundaries, accountability, trust, grief, and relationship decisions.
EMDR does not replace the need for relational repair when a relationship is continuing.